My Way Back To Normality Through Rehab
I had a pretty good childhood. I wanted to start off by saying that since so many people blame their addictions on things they experienced when they were young. I lived in a two-parent household with a younger sister, a dog and anything a kid could ever want.
Things were pretty good until I headed off to college. This is when I realized that doing well would take far more than decent intelligence and a smile. I majored in business initially since I had no idea what I wanted to do, and it was really taking a toll on me. The late nights I spent studying led to sleepy days in the classroom. I started taking caffeine pills in order to stay awake for full days.
After a while, I realized that web design was a road I wanted to follow and I changed schools. This was something that was more my speed, yet I still had to stay up very late trying to cram as much studying in as possible. Pretty soon massive cups of coffee and caffeine pills did nothing for me. I asked a friend how she stayed so perky all of the time and she introduced me to methamphetamine pills.
These were pretty expensive considering I was working on a college student budget, but I noticed that I had unlimited energy when I bought them, so I found a way to make it work. I ended up getting my degree on time and I felt like I was on top of the world. This is a huge problem for many addicts; since you are not doing badly at first, you think that you are invincible and there is nothing wrong with the fact that you are taking something that can cause real damage.
I had a pretty tough time getting a job after college since I did not have much experience, so I started freelancing. I headed to Craigslist, placed an ad and watched in amazement as people responded and offered me assignments. Since I had great prices, the number of orders stacked up and I began to get overwhelmed. I started taking the pills more than ever because I felt like there was no other way I could successfully make it through the day.
I was extended a job offer from one of the companies I had done some freelance work for. This was like a dream come true since it meant that I could get my foot in the door and possibly work for one of those huge software companies at some point. Instead of focusing on the job alone, I was still doing projects on the side. Eventually, I realized that the pills were taking a real toll on me. I had these spots appearing on my face since I picked at invisible itches all of the time and my wallet was empty all the time.
I continued taking the pills since I thought there was no other way that I could do everything at once. Unfortunately, I ended up crashing, burning and having a stroke at the age of 26. That was all I needed to convince me that this was not the way that I wanted to live my life. I ended up checking into a drug rehab and working very hard to get myself together.
Luckily, I did not end up losing my job, and I am still there. I have been clean for two years now and every day is a struggle. I still get cravings when I am overwhelmed with work and I feel like a candle being burned from both ends. I wish that things could go back to how they were in the beginning before all of the pills, but I am not sure that will ever happen.